Brian Kinsella, CEO/Founder of Stop Soldier Suicide

For those who were unable to attend the May 8, 2013, Stop Soldier Suicide fundraising event at the Intrepid Museum in New York, Founder and CEO Brian Kinsella gave a passionate and rousing speech about his commitment to helping his fellow brothers and sisters in arms in their greatest hour of need. Here is an excerpt and we welcome your comments or thoughts.

 “…It is the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S. … The overall rate is 10.8 suicides per 100,000…The why of suicide is the most elusive question of all…Even as moral condemnation of suicide is lessening, the scientific community is making greater efforts to prevent it. In Washington, the National Institute of Mental Health has just set up a national Center for the Studies of Suicide Prevention, which will launch research projects and help set up suicide-prevention staffs in hospitals and centers throughout the U.S…But it is certain that in the future the “cry for help” will be far better heard and far more sympathetically attended to, than it has ever been…” –Time Magazine, November 1966.

That excerpt is not from this year, or this decade, but was written a half century ago…10.8 suicides per 100,000 – the tenth leading cause of death in 1966.

According to the most recent data from the Centers for Disease Control, suicide is STILL the tenth leading cause of death in the United States with an overall rate of 12.4 per 100,000. Suicide remains pervasive and entrenched in our country and the medical community continues to chase the elusive question: Why?

While national suicide statistics are staggering, and all suicides are tragic, the rate of service-member suicides is unacceptable. Recent published reports by the VA indicate that the rate of suicide among Veterans who use VA health care services has remained steady in recent years, at about 36 per 100,000 or about 3x the national average. According to the same VA report, a veteran dies by suicide every 65 Minutes–an estimated 18-22+ Veterans taking their own lives each day. In the last four years it is estimated that 28,000+ Veterans have taken their own lives.And in the active Army, the primary cause of death is not vehicular accidents or combat, it is suicide. In fact, more soldiers on active duty died by their own hand in 2012, than died in combat… Unacceptable. 

So what is the origin of Stop Soldier Suicide? What do we do? And how can you help? 

During my five years on active duty I dealt with military suicide firsthand. Within a few months of my first assignment in Germany in 2006, one of my own Soldiers, an 18-year-old woman, slit her wrists in an attempt to take her own life. Her attempt was unsuccessful. And today, she is a transitioned Veteran, a college graduate, and a proud mother. She found hope, a will to live, and got through her darkest hour.

Stop Soldier Suicide was founded in 2010, amid the worst crisis our military has ever seen. Our organization was founded and is currently run by active duty Soldiers and Veterans. Unlike other nonprofits, we bring an element of mutual understanding and a sense of camaraderie to those service members looking for help. We’ve worked tirelessly to build a national- and community-based network of volunteers, raising awareness about military suicide and partnering with government organizations and other nonprofits to provide comprehensive care. Together, we are committed to helping our brothers and sisters in arms get the help they need, at their most vulnerable time.

What is Sop Soldier Suicide’s Purpose?

Despite ongoing efforts by the Department of Defense, the VA, and the military; a gap exists between suicide support services and those in need. There is a proven lifesaving value in making connections when people are in crisis. Stop Soldier Suicide provides triage and a timely capture mechanism for Soldiers, Veterans, and family members, to prevent those who serve from taking their own lives. When someone reaches out to us for help (a mother, father, a son, daughter, spouse) we not only connect that client to a mental health care provider, but we ask pointed questions to try and identify the catalyst or trigger for that suicidal ideation or thought. Identifying the root cause of why someone is thinking about taking their own life allows us to better connect that client to specialized care. If, for example, someone is struggling with a disability or loss of limb, we have a partnership with the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation to provide specialized care.

Stop Soldier Suicide is also leading the awareness campaign at the national and community level, to collectively change the culture of receiving treatment. The stigma around mental health needs to disappear, so people can come forward and actually get the services they need. We enable service members to access treatment for a lifetime through our network of providers and ancillary services offered, ultimately helping them to be productive members of society for many decades.

What Can You Do To Help?

Many often ask, what can I do to help? I’m not a Veteran, I haven’t deployed and I have no mental health training. So what can I do?As I mentioned earlier, suicide is still the tenth leading cause of death in the United States and has only increased in the last 50 years. You may think you don’t know someone who is affected, but the truth is, you probably do. Mental wounds are invisible and the struggle with suicide is not always transparent. In the case of all suicides, the first attempt is successful 50% of the time– half the time it is too late.

Stop Soldier Suicide recently endorsed the Veterans Mental Health Accessibility Act sponsored by Congressman Matt Cartwright of Pennsylvania. The bi-partisan bill aims to increase mental health services and the duration of treatment. But Veterans need more than funds and congressional bills: we need your time, your ideas, and your involvement. Many think that writing a check or giving lip service to Veteran issues is enough, but I implore everyone here to talk about the problem, get involved in the fight, and work side-by-side with Veteran initiatives to ensure the successful transition of our nation’s warriors. As Stop Soldier Suicide enters the final phase of our business model, we are working to launch a 24/7 staffed center to provide triage care, a comprehensive marketing & awareness campaign, structured training programs, and a 1-800 crisis hotline. We need your help making this a reality as we will continue to fill a critical gap in coverage.

A Tidal Wave is Coming.

We are still a nation at war and it is important to remember those still serving overseas. As we bring home the last of our Soldiers, we must remember that our generation will be judged by the way we take care of our troops coming home. We MUST embrace them so they can become thriving members of our communities.Currently more than 69% of Veteran suicides are among individuals aged 50 years or older. Knowing that statistic, and looking at the spike in the active duty component today, it is evident we have a tidal wave of Veteran suicides coming.

In this country we need a paradigm shift in the way we think about suicide, treatment, and mental healthcare. This movement will not happen overnight and as we move further away from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, support will fade. Stop Soldier Suicide is creating the infrastructure now to sustain a multi-decade problem.

The current rate of military suicides is unacceptable and I encourage all of you to take action.In the words of Army Second Lieutenant Louis Zamperini, WWII Veteran and Prisoner of War, “…a part of you still believes you can fight and survive, no matter what your mind knows. It’s not so strange. Where there’s still life, there’s still hope.” The will to fight and survive is innate within our nation’s warriors. And that hope, that will to live, is what we Americans owe to our brothers and sisters in uniform– the men and women who have volunteered to fight for our freedom. That hope is what Stop Soldier Suicide provides each and every day: we carry out our mission and we continue to serve those who have served.

Thank you. God Bless our Troops and God Bless the United States of America.

Our model is unique in a number of ways. First, we are made up of former and current military so we understand the perspective of those needing help. Second, we don’t try to be mental health professionals. We aren’t the VA or DoD. But we DO offer the resources to get someone the exact and specific help that’s appropriate for their situation–outside of the military. So many Soldiers and Veterans don’t want to get lost inside the military redtape or they feel like they can’t come forward inside their unit without risking their job  if they are active duty.

Our TRIAGE AND ASSESSMENT model lets us talk one-on-one with someone, understand the military perspective, and then get them to the right help, safely. A gap no one else is filling right now. In this way, we are helping to stop soldier and veteran suicide and that’s something that has to become more important in our country as the Veteran population grows.

So SSS’s goal is to raise enough to open a Contact Center that will be run by volunteer Soldiers and Veterans. A place that can help individually assess the specific issues at hand and find or give the help that will take the Soldier/Veteran out of a level of stress that could make them think about suicide. Because SSS is run by Veterans and active-duty Soldiers, the peer-to-peer approach means they “get” what these brave men and women have been and are going through. We have to reach out to help BEFORE they turn to a crisis situation.

So that leads to the NIGHT FOR LIFE Fundraiser in New York City, May 8, 2013. Set on the deck of the impressive USS Intrepid docked at the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum,  the event will offer a beautiful May evening with an open bar, silent auction and DJ’d music. It’s a gathering of people who care about stopping soldier suicide and helping those who have fought for us so honorably but who now need us to fight for them. Come be part of something bigger. Something that will truly save lives. Get your tickets here or if you just prefer to donate, you can do that, too.

See you May 8th!

One man, a Veteran who joined the Army in the early 1980s, was among those who joined the Ride in Utah. And here is the amazing and unvarnished story of his 20+ year-long battle with depression and multiple suicide attempts. He credits Brian and Stop Soldier Suicide with helping him find some saving grace and light on a very, very dark day. He tells us his story in order to help others. And for anyone who has never suffered from trauma and depression, it’s a new understanding of exactly what some Soldiers and Veterans live with. And why we must ALL come together to STOP SOLDIER SUICIDE. (He has asked that we withhold his last name for privacy.)

My Name Is David.

I awoke one morning wishing to take my own life.  I was due to show up and ride with a fellow motorcycle rider through portions of the state I live in.  I weighed the decision to meet with this young man who was riding across the nation to bring awareness to the issue of  Soldier Suicide. I decided to meet up with him.  We rode through beautiful mountain ranges.  And he asked me if I would be willing to share my trials, struggles, and victories with others.  I am, to this day, very grateful I choose to get up and ride.

And so I am here to tell my story because of it.

I am a disabled Navy Veteran who suffers from severe chronic depression.

I have chosen many times NOT to take my own life.

Yes, that makes me feel like a failure, but I ask you to please keep reading.

I am trying to figure out how to turn my life around.  The depression is not going away. It actually is getting worse by the day.

I am trying to figure out how to help others who suffer from severe depression.

I have read many books over the years.

I have been told by far too many people that my depression would just go away if I would exercise, yet exercise causes very severe suicidal tendencies in my case.

I have been told to “just get over it” and “it’s all in your head.”

I have been given many blessings from church leaders and been instructed to quit sinning.

I work with the VA regularly to seek treatment and medications. (17 years of treatment)

The depression continues. The struggle never goes away.

My life began normally. I grew up in small community in Utah.

My father taught at BYU for 39 years, and I grew up in Provo.

I was a state champion springboard diver in high school.  I could have had a scholarship.

I got married to a beautiful woman, Eva, in January of 1984.

We have been married for 29 years.

We have five children—three girls and two boys.

I wanted to be a Chaplain in the Army, so I joined the Army reserve in 1985 and began school at University of Utah.

While there, we had our first two girls.  I stayed in contact with the Church Military relations board to make sure I continued to follow the requirements to become a Chaplain.

However, the rules changed in 1988, and I would have to be on active duty.  So I joined the US Navy.

While I was on active duty I also attended college to finish my BS in Psychology.

I was in my second-to-last semester in college in San Diego when I wrote the Church office Military relations board to see if the requirements were still the same as they were back in 1988.

No. They were not. The requirements changed in 1992.

That was it. I now did not meet and could not meet any of the requirements for being a Chaplain.  I won’t go into the “why” at this point.

During the last year on active duty, I started taking medication for depression.

When I went from my shore duty to being assigned to the USS Constellation, CV-64, I was given a physical.  The ship’s doctor verified my medication and proceeded to have me discharged.  In March of 1994 I was Honorably Discharged with a medical discharge and a disability rating of 10%.

When my family moved back to Utah, I went to the Veteran’s Administration. They gave me a disability rating of 30% and continued treatment for depression. I was awarded schooling to get me back into college and help me find a new career.

For the next three years I sought to finish school, find employment, provide for my family and learn to conquer my depression.

In 1996 my depression got worse.  I was awarded a disability rating of 50%

But my depression just kept getting worse.

I was unable to work.  I was unable to provide for my family.  I started having suicidal thoughts.

 My First Half-Hearted Suicide Attempt (Failure)

A semi-truck was headed right for me. I had put my car in the exact lane he was in so I could take myself out of the pain. I closed my eyes.  The truck swerved out of my path.  I sat and cried and eventually went home.

I was unable to work for about 6 months.  We were unable to keep our house.

My depression cost us our home.

My First Full-On Suicide Attempt (Failure)

I was ready to try again. I took my shotgun and drove to an isolated road.  I sat for a few hours trying to decide whether to shoot myself through the mouth or from the side of the head.  Eventually, I decided not to go through with my suicide.  I don’t know why. But I considered myself to be a huge coward for not being able to do it.

We moved three times in next three years. I got feeling a little more stable. We got to where we were able to own a home again and we lived there for four years.  I was awarded more schooling through the VA since the first time the schooling did not provide a steady job.

I was hired on by a Government Agency after finishing school.

I was with the Government agency for 7 years.

We moved into a new home 6 years ago.

My wife finished nursing school during this time and became a Registered Nurse.

26 Jobs in 17 Years.

Since leaving the Navy in 1994, I have worked at 26 jobs in 17 years.  That includes seven years with the Government Agency.

The only reason I was at the Government Agency for 7 years was because they are NOT supposed to fire a veteran for his disability.  I was however finally fired for lack of attendance that directly corresponded with my depression treatment. My 18 months of Electro-Convulsive Therapy (shock therapy and yes, “One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest,” kind.) caused me to need to take 10 days off during each month.

On top of it all, the medication the VA had given me from 2002-2007 caused me to develop Type II Diabetes.

Since going on medication for DIabetes, not a single medication for my depression has worked.  I have tried 15 medications in the past 4 years.

I fight every day to live.

My Third Suicide Attempt (Failure)

In November of 2010, I pulled out a handgun and was sitting with it and a piece of paper writing notes to my wife and family members. I don’t know why, but I chose to put the gun back into the gun safe.

My Fourth Suicide Attempt (Failure)

One day in January, I came home from my Electro-Convulsive Therapy with soiled underwear.  I had relieved my bladder while I was being “shocked.”  Not an uncommon occurrence.  So I decided to take a bath. After these sessions with ECT, I was usually very woozy from the medication.  (I typically just sit while bathing, especially since I tend to slip in and out of consciousness.)

All of a sudden, I felt water around my face.  On my chest.  Cool water.  I had just filled the bath with water so hot I could barely sit in it.  Yet, now it was cool .  I THEN SAT UPRIGHT PULLING MY HEAD AND UPPER BODY OUT OF THE WATER.  I had fallen asleep.  My head had slipped underwater.   As I looked at the clock, over 20 minutes had passed since I had fallen asleep.

I then heard a small voice say, “It is not your turn until you have written a book about your experience living with depression and maintaining a testimony of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and sharing it with others.”

The Need to Help Others

I feel the need to help other Veterans fight the stigma that MENTAL ILLNESS has within our culture.  I am more than willing to get in front of people and tell my story. (even though I know I will probably break down in tears as I tell it.)

One regular activity that helps when I am seriously considering suicide, is browsing the Internet.  On my Facebook page, I have “friend-ed” many pages that deal with the families left behind from suicides.  I read the stories of those families.  This gives me courage to go on for another day, sometimes another hour, and sometimes just surviving the next minute or two.

I know in the Army we are taught to “Be Strong”.  I feel weak.  I struggle daily to live another day.  I hope my story here can help just one service member be strong and make the choice to seek help.  I should know.  I have checked myself into the VA a few times so I would not take my life.  I have fought for 17 years and counting.  I am blessed with a beautiful wife that is still with me after all I have put her through.  I am blessed with 5 wonderful children.  I am blessed with one grandchild for now with 2 more on the way this summer.  I am, at times, filled with peace and comfort when I take the time to look in their eyes and see the love we share.

There will be peaceful times.

There will be hard times.

There will be times when you wish your wife did not have the only key to access the gun safe.

But there will be times when we stand strong and do not give in to suicide.

I know.

I have felt the pain of not going through with it.

I have felt the joy and happiness of not going through it.

I have lived both.

I currently live both.

I know the times I have feel peace, far outweigh the negative.

Seek the positive.  Live for the positive.  It will come.  You will feel it.

At VA headquarters we met with senior members from the Office of Policy and Planning, Veterans Health Administration, VA/DoD Collaboration Service, and Office of Public Affairs. Special thanks to Assistant Secretary Dr. Raul Perea-Henze and his team for all of their help setting up today’s meetings. It is progressive leaders like Dr. Henze that have made the Ride for Life a success.

We look forward to formalizing the partnership between the Department of Veterans Affairs and Stop Soldier Suicide in the coming month.

I am heading to Baltimore tomorrow to meet with senior mental health care professionals from the Johns Hopkins Hospital.